I really hate it back here. I'm already 19 years old. A legal adult, in college and although currently I cannot foresee my future, I know what I don't want. I don't want to be fucking stuck here. I really fucking hate it here. And it hella wasn't my idea to come back either. Seriously, coming back here is fucking worse than pulling an all-nighter for 3 midterms on all the same date one after another. I really wonder what the word "family" really means. I keep telling myself there are other people without families and worse off lives than mine. But seriously, I don't feel any better having a "family." Sure we take vacations together and all that "family stuff" But really now, I don't think I ever felt the affection and TLC. All I ever received were negative feedbacks and opposition to whatever the hell I wanted to do. Sometimes I really wonder if I would have been better off in a gang or something. Something that I wanted to do back in my "dark" days. I fucking hate living up to people standards who don't give any fucking good words about anything I do or attain and always asking for more.