越跐越深

Fiona Ka Weng Lao.

Someone that I don't think I can ever reach. I've told myself to stop and try to forget about her, but her sudden appearance from before left an impression. Now not only can I not forget her, I want to get closer to her. I know I am very 傻 but I can't help it. And I keep giving myself new hopes.

I know I've had others and such. But the feelings she gives me....is really different. Even her smallest actions can make me feel happy for the day. I think I'm falling deeper and deeper....

「深愛不等於擁有」 Can I?

「愛一個人付出才會完整
無條件　越愛就越深」

「我要一步一步一步　一步一步走到妳身邊
我要一天一天一天　一天一天愛妳多一點
不管你是　笑的　哭的　怕的　慌的　亂的
到妳的世界　不在乎為妳改變我」

我想知道點解個天咁鍾意玩人。
明明已經慢慢回到現實世界﹐
但偏偏有走唔出。

Just when I know I probably wouldn't see her again and it was just me 一相情緣 I was slowly coming back to reality.....
But then she shows up again and now I have new hopes.

Why am I in this game again?

Happy & Smiling

I haven't felt such excitement in such a long while.
I'm happy and smiling, that hasn't happened in a long time.
It's because I saw Fiona.
It was very unexpected. Hell, I was walking back from Tricia's place after playing mahjong and I was in my sleeping clothes (shorts + t-shirt) and sandals.
When I first saw her, I thought I was 眼花. But I realized it was her, but I didn't "hi" her because I didn't think she would recognize me. Then she "hi" me first, so I "hi" back. With that, happiness already filled my heart. Then we talked. It wasn't just us two though, there were 4 other people and a puppy. But it's okay. At least I know she remembers me. Maybe not my name...but at least know me.

I know I'm being stupid. But what can I say? Everyone's actions affects at least one other person in the world, whether they know it or not.

=D

There's no doubt that earlier today I was feeling pretty down and depressed. But after what happened these past few hours, I feel much better. I went over to Old Teahouse around 11:30pm to get a drink, but before I went I had asked Heki over MSN if she wanted anything from there, so I got her mild popcorn chicken and a milk green tea. After I bought the stuff, went over to her place to deliver. I didn't plan on staying over for this long, but in the end, we just kept chatting and chatting. Time sure does fly. I remember I checked my phone once, and it was 12:43am. The next time I checked it....it was 2:03am already. Then the next time I looked at her computer clock, it was already 4:08am 0_0 I feel kinda bad for keeping her awake for so long because she said she wanted to sleep early. Oh well, what's done is done. I guess I can make it up to her by buying her something from Old Teahouse geh~ haha.

She never fails to calm and relax me. Even though she doesn't know she's doing it.

(Yes, I am over her already. We're just friends.)

妄想症 Delusional Disorder

妄想症

是一種導致幻覺的精神疾病。它和其他精神疾病之間有一定差距，一個很顯著之處在於患妄想症者往往無精神分裂症病史，且沒有幻視產生（觸摸幻覺或味道幻覺可能會出現）。

患妄想症者可能外表很正常，也沒有奇異的行為（除非這些行為直接源於其妄想）。1999年，門羅（Munro）指出，「儘管妄想症患者的幻覺並不外露，且表現得似乎完全沒有影響，但其對於患者的影響是日益增加的。」

值得注意的是，「偏執狂」一詞曾被用於形容妄想症患者，但現在這一詞的含義已發生改變。

Delusional Disorder

A psychiatric diagnosis denoting a psychotic mental illness that involves holding one or more non-bizarre delusions in the absence of any other significant psychopathology (signs or symptoms of mental illness). In particular, a person with delusional disorder has never met any other criteria for schizophrenia and does not have any marked hallucinations, although tactile (touch) or olfactory (smell) hallucinations may be present if they are related to the theme of the delusion.

A person with delusional disorder can be quite functional and does not tend to show any odd or bizarre behavior aside from these delusions. "Despite the encapsulation of the delusional system and the relative sparing of the personality, the patient's way of life is likely to become more and more overwhelmed by the dominating effect of the abnormal beliefs". (Munro, 1999)

The term paranoia was previously used in psychiatry to denote what is now called 'delusional disorder'. The modern psychiatric use of the word paranoia is subtly different but now rarely refers to this specific diagnosis.

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I think I have 妄想症.....because I keep thinking about Fiona Lao, someone I barely even know. This isn't good.