Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.
These five stages that I never thought I would go through so soon again in my life. Myself, a psychology major, I can tell everyone else around me how to deal with grief. I can tell them how they're supposed to take care of themselves. I can help them heal. But I can't help myself. Like they say 能醫不能自醫, so very true.
I know I have to grieve. I know I have to go through those stages. But I don't even know if I've started or where I'm at. I know I'm forcing myself to postpone it. And I know it's very unhealthy for me. But humans are hypocrites. They do the opposite of what they say. I can tell people "don't worry, I know what I'm doing." But do I really? I do yet I don't. I can feel it within myself how I'm suppressing it. And in the end, I know sooner or later my mind and body will reach its limit.
I'm trying, I really am. But I just can't help to do what I'm doing.......
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Trials and Tribulations
As we grow up, we go through different levels of trials and tribulations. When we were younger, our obstacles were overcoming our fear of the dark, riding over the hill, etc. But now that we're older, when we look back, we smile at those memories and wished we could go back to those days where things weren't as complicated.
The older we get, the more complicated life gets. We discover new things about ourselves as we grow older. And sometimes a few of those things puts even bigger obstacles in our paths. Overcoming them ourselves is one thing, but after you've climbed that obstacle, an even bigger one gets in the way.
The older we get, the lonelier we feel. As we grow older, we experience different feelings. Some feelings you want them to go away forever, but other feelings, you want to experience again. And once you've experienced that feeling, lost it, you yearn for it once more. And as you grow older, you expect more because you've put in more. But that's not how it goes unfortunately.
The older we get, the more complicated life gets. We discover new things about ourselves as we grow older. And sometimes a few of those things puts even bigger obstacles in our paths. Overcoming them ourselves is one thing, but after you've climbed that obstacle, an even bigger one gets in the way.
The older we get, the lonelier we feel. As we grow older, we experience different feelings. Some feelings you want them to go away forever, but other feelings, you want to experience again. And once you've experienced that feeling, lost it, you yearn for it once more. And as you grow older, you expect more because you've put in more. But that's not how it goes unfortunately.
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