抑鬱症

I am diagnosing myself with 抑鬱症. Why?
I feel the need to. I can't think of any other reason why my mood is so down and feeling so useless. Tricia asked if there was anything wrong with me, but I reassured her there wasn't. But I know there is and I know she can see through my fake smile.

I attempt to keep my daily routine and pretend like there is nothing wrong. I can lie to the whole world, but I cannot lie to myself. Pretending like nothing is wrong is worse than letting something know what's wrong. But what can I say, it seems like I'm always prone to keeping problems to myself rather than letting others help me.

I feel like I'm back into my wall. But I want out. Expect....I can't get out without help.

Where is she, the one that will save me?